I consider myself to be a very open person sexually. I love trying out new things in the bedroom and playing around with different positions. My absolute favorite is doggy-style. The problem is, I always seem to experience a lot of pain when I do it. Is this normal? I should probably add that my last few partners have been pretty blessed in the size department. Is size a factor here, as well? And more importantly, how can I make it less painful so I can experience the pleasure?
First I just have to say that I love your attitude! Sex is supposed to be fun and playful, and the best way to get the most from it is to explore and treat it like an adventure. The one thing that sex is never supposed to be, however, is painful. Pain is not normal, and can often signal that something is very wrong. Any time you experience pain during sex, you need to hit the brakes.(sex advice)
As far as sex positions go, doggy-style can definitely be considered one of the hottest and can feel amazing when done right. It also allows for the deepest penetration because guys are able to thrust deeply (unlike in missionary or woman-on-top).
What you’re experiencing is likely the result of your well-endowed partners’ members hitting your cervix, which can be extremely painful. Unfortunately, it’s also a fairly common occurrence during doggy-style.
Before you give up on your favorite position for good, there are some variations you can try that will let you hit the same sweet spot without the pain!
The first option is standing doggy-style, which is exactly what it sounds like. With both of you standing (you with your back to him), your partner has less range of motion and has to be more controlled in his thrusts. So while he probably won’t be able to give it to you as hard, fast, and deep as traditional doggy style, you both get that same snug fit and friction that feels so great. It also frees up his hands for some other frisky maneuvers…
Another way to alter this position is by taking it all the way horizontal. Try lying down on your stomach on a bed or some other comfy surface with pillows underneath your pelvis and your legs closed together and have your partner enter you from behind. Your closed legs and elevated rear end will help you control the depth of penetration while also providing a nice, tight entry for him and a tighter feel for you. Everyone wins!
In addition to these modified versions of doggy-style, it certainly wouldn’t hurt to experiment with some other sex positions. Opt for moves that give you a little more control of the speed and depth of penetration and incorporate shallow thrusting or grinding; that way, you’re still getting to enjoy the benefits of your partner’s sizable penis, just from a different angle. And since the G-spot is located only a few inches inside the vagina, on the upper wall, your man doesn’t need to rely on power thrusts (or size) to hit it just right.
The tried-and-true “woman-on-top" position (also called "cowgirl" or occasionally “queening”) is a great choice if you’d like to have a little bit more control during sex. With you on top, you’ll be able to go at your own pace and use his tool to your advantage, while he just holds on and enjoys the ride. And enjoy he will!
In contrast with doggy style, the spooning position can be a really nice change of pace, in addition to providing a much-needed break for your lady parts. You can even mix it up a little with the inverted spoon position—both you and your partner lay on your sides facing each other with your legs scissored between one another.
And of course, there’s always good-old missionary! True, it may get a bad rap for being boring, but there’s a reason it’s considered the go-to position for women: it delivers results. Have your partner enter you slowly, so you can choose how deep you want him to get. Once you’ve found the perfect position, he should rock—not thrust—gently on top of you while you focus on grinding your clitoris against his pubic bone.
No matter what position you end up in, remember to take it slow and always, always, always use lubricant! There’s good friction and bad friction, so a smooth entry always feels sexier and reduces the risks of tearing and chafing. Opt for a long-lasting silicone lube, like JO premium lubricant. And don’t forget the foreplay!
The more turned on and lubricated you are, the easier and more pleasurable sex will be, regardless of the position. In fact, this goes for all sex—no matter how gifted your partner is in the size department. Remember that foreplay is a requirement, not a suggestion!