It’s your goal every damn time you’re having sex (or ahem, at least it should be): getting your partner off more than once. Though pornography and movies might make it seem like it’s an every-time type of deal, making sure they reach orgasm with every romp is no easy task.
But perhaps, an even more difficult challenge might be you having multiple orgasms yourself. And no, I'm not talking about finishing one sex session, taking a mini nap, having a snack and then going for round two. It is actually physically possible for you to reach climax more than once before you ejaculate.
“While most men do not have multiple orgasms as they are not aware that they can have them through practicing some special techniques, it is true that the majority of men, with some knowledge and practice, can achieve multiple orgasms,” says sex expert and commentator, Coleen Singer.(sex advice)
If you want to crack open the secrets of some pretty serious playtime and compete with your girlfriend on who can have the wildest time in terms of quality and quantity, experts give you the secrets:
1. Why You Must Avoid Ejaculation:
Though they might happen at exactly the same time when you are having intercourse (or receiving oral sex) — having an orgasm and ejaculating aren’t mutually exclusive. You can actually orgasm without finishing, and if you want to O more than once, that’s the biggest hurdle to overcome. “The first step is knowing the difference between orgasms and ejaculation. Orgasms occur two to six seconds prior to ejaculation, so it is important for men wanting the have multiple orgasms to learn techniques for having an orgasm, and then finding ways to avoid ejaculation,” Singer explains. “Once ejaculation occurs, the brain sends the signal to the penis to go into ‘rest and recovery’ mode.”
2. But How Do You Do That?
Believe it or not — some of the same moves that your girl uses to make sure she stays in shape below her panty line are the same exercises that you can utilize to get your multiple orgasms badge of honor. In other words: do some Kegels! “Kegel exercises strengthen the PC (pubococcygeus) muscle. This is the same muscle used to stop the flow of urine,” Singer says.”Kegel exercises strengthen control over this muscle and allow the man to shut off the pump, as it were after the orgasm and prior to ejaculation. An effective way to do male Kegel training is to use an app called Stamena (or Kegel Trainer on Android), which will walk you through doing progressively more difficult Kegel exercises and strengthen your PC muscle.”
3. Take Time To Practice:
If you want to last longer in bed (especially when you haven’t done the deed in quite some time), you might make an extra effort to masturbate before you head to dinner and drinks. This same kind of practice can help predict and ensure your ability to perform in multiples. Singer recommends the a method called S.T.A.B. — which is best when used after your orgasm, but before you ejaculate (that’s why masturbation is key; you don’t want to stall the actual sex while you try figure this one out!). How does it work? Singer explains:
Squeeze: Right when you feel like you’re about to orgasm, Singer says to “squeeze your PC muscles hard like you’re doing an intense Kegel. Hold for at least 10 seconds, but the longer you can hold, the more you’ll down.”
Think: This one is so simple it’s difficult to do - just think about anything other than coming.
Avoid: Since you know your body better than anyone else, Singer says this is when you have to actively divert your attention and motion toward something that doesn’t turn you on. She advises to avoid the head and change your stroke, without stopping entirely.
Breathe: She says to breathe through your stomach to calm your heart rate, all while continuing to masturbate (or if you were having sex, you’d keep moving) and then let the orgasm happen, without ejaculation. Then, you’ll be ready to start up again!
4. Think Like A Teenager:
“As young men, men typically masturbate multiple times in a row, and may not ejaculate, so that they can have multiple turns and orgasms. Somehow young men tapped into the secret of how to make the choice between wet and dry orgasms,” says psychologist Dr. Nikki Martinez. “If you have hung onto this skill, or you are willing to practice at getting this kind of control back, multiple orgasms can literally be within your reach.”