If you’ve trained yourself to be more of a giver than a receiver, then it’s highly likely your girlfriend (or wife) applaud your dedication to their pleasure. While being a selfless lover often ensures your partner’s happiness — both in and outside of the bedroom — knowing your own erotic triggers and zones is crucial, too. Why? As much as your lady enjoys your attention to detail, endurance and curious, ambitious nature to improve your sexual repertoire, she also wants to make sure you’re satisfied, too.
You probably have your go-to blow job requests, certain sexual positions that really turn you on, but have you ever ventured into an unknown zone that you’ve never considered, well, erotic? You might have to be brave, but trust us, once you allow yourself to explore your own G-spot, you’ll wonder what you were so afraid of before. While homosexual men definitely are open to this area, heterosexual men can easily encourage their female partners to help stimulate their down-there region, similar to how you might suggest anal sex. From using hands and toys to lubricant, here are all the ways to find and stimulate the male G-spot… tonight! (sex advice)
1. What Is The Male G-Spot?
Everyone has a G-spot, male and female alike. An easy way to think about it is to consider those goosebumps you get on your skin when you’re surprised, a cool air runs through or you get scared. While uncomfortable at first, the sensation itself is enjoyable if you sink into the unfamiliar territory. Those goosebumps come from a shift in your nerve endings, and when you target the G-spot of your body, you’re putting pressure on your most sensitive body part. Sexpert Coleen Singer explains that a german gynecologist named Ernst Gräfenberg was the first to discuss this area, and thus, it’s named after him. This wasn’t until 1950 — so if you’re still getting on the bandwagon, you’re likely not alone. “It is commonly thought that a greater concentration of nerve endings are contained in both male and female G-spots which, when stimulated properly, can lead to intense orgasms in both genders,” Singer says.
2. Where Is The G-Spot?
There are many ways to ignite the pleasure of the male G-spot (more on that below!) but first, you need to know where it is. Singer explains that you might be surprised to discover this special place is actually located inside of the male prostate. “It’s a gland about the size of a walnut, and it’s located right under a man’s bladder,” she says.
When you start to seek it out, proceed with caution and don’t go too hard, too fast. “The prostate is located behind the anal wall in the direction of your belly button (two to four inches from the sphincter). Be careful! The prostate is very sensitive. Do not poke and prod, instead caress and stroke. Press gently. Use feather-light touches,” Michael Alvear, founder of CallMeMaybe.us, says. “You’re looking for a walnut-sized fleshy ball hiding behind the anal wall. Finding it is a little like playing hide-and-seek, only you’re using your finger rather than your eyes.
3. How Is The Male G-Spot Different From The Female One?
When you discuss a woman’s G-spot, you’re likely on a mission to not only find the sucker, but to work your best at pushing her to the brink of an orgasm. Every woman is different on how they react to their G-spot being stimulated — some might find it incredibly intense to the point of where it’s not comfortable, while others encourage their partners to go there as often (and as thoroughly) as they can. A male’s G-spot is pretty similar, and Singer notes there is little scientific evidence to suggest that big of a difference between the two on either sex.
“The female G-spot a sensitive area of the anterior wall of the vagina believed to be highly erogenous and capable of ejaculation. Also referred to as The Skene's gland and Urethral sponge, the female G-spot, the female prostate as an accepted term. The male prostate is biologically homologous to the Skene's gland, it has been unofficially called the male G-spot because it can also be used as an erogenous zone,” Singer explains. “So, although very little scientific consensus exists on exactly what the female versus male G-spots actually are, they are similar in many regards, most importantly that stimulation of both can lead to explosive orgasms for both men and women.”
4. Why Should You Investigate Your G-Spot?
Just like you appreciate when your partner takes the time to direct you around her body, your female counterpart will enjoy the process of practicing something new on you that will make your orgasms and thus, your sex life, even hotter. Plus: there’s something incredibly sexy and empowering about being unafraid to change the way you get to your personal finish line. Masturbating has long been thought as a way to not only relieve stress and tension as a solo act, but lead to a more fulfilling sexual intercourse experience because you can maintain endurance and better explain how to turn yourself on. The same goes for a G-spot: Why not add another layer of expertise to your already-overflowing sexual database?
“Stimulating the male G-spot can be an intensely empowering experience, whether for a male doing it himself, or a woman giving him a ‘helping hand.’ Sometimes the greatest pleasures are the ones we deny ourselves, and the male G-spot is the forbidden fruit of a man’s erogenous zones,” Singer says. “If you haven’t explored that part of your own anatomy — maybe you’re used to being on top — it might be taboo and a bit freaky. And that’s what makes it so hot!
5. What Your G-Spot Can Help With:
In addition to benefiting your overall experience under the sheets, massaging and stimulating your G-spot can also help relieve other troubles you could be experiencing. As an example? If you struggle with rising to the, um, challenge and you haven’t been able to find anything that works to maintain your sail, try targeting your attention to that G-spot. “If you’re both in the mood but he has some performance problems, try massaging his prostate. You might find that the sexual arousal from the G-spot stimulation helps him to relax and get an erection,” Singer notes.
6. How To Gently Stimulate It:
If you’re still a bit freaked out by exploring past your typical stroking-one-out, then start small. And by small, we mean by simply using your own fingers after your shower to find your area. “The easiest way to stimulate the male G-spot is to press gently on the skin between his balls and anus, known as the perineum (or, more commonly, the taint). You can do this by yourself when masturbating,” Singer explains.
If you’d like your girlfriend to help you take that initial plunge into the G-spot unknown, have her add her hands while you’re having sex. As Singer details, “Your partner can massage this area during sex or apply rhythmic pressure with her fingers to add to your pleasure. Giving this spot extra attention right before you climax will add some mind-blowing intensity to your orgasm.”
7. What If It Doesn’t Feel Any Different?
Just like you probably struggled with finding her G-spot, you might have trouble finding your own, even when you’re working as a team to stimulate it. Alvear explains that it’s important that you’re already stimulated in some fashion — aka, turned on! — before you go on the G-spot hunting mission. Why? Just like your penis becomes erect, so does your prostate, and thus, your G-spot is easier to locate.
“During arousal the prostate fills with semen fluid. The closer you get to orgasm the firmer the prostate becomes and the easier it is to find and stroke,” he says. “You can also try different positions. For example, some guys have better luck laying on their left side and putting their right hand behind their back while bending the knee of the top leg.”
8. Don’t Be Afraid Of Using A Toy
To no fault of your own — and as no sign that you can’t enjoy G-spot orgasms — some men might not be able to reach their own prostate, simply because their fingers aren’t long enough or your prostate is sitting higher, Alvear says. “The prostate lies two to four inches into your rectum (towards your belly button). If your prostate is positioned higher than average and/or your fingers are shorter than average it can get a little tricky. Try a commercial prostate massager like Aneros or the Male P-Spot Massager. They’re shaped to match the form of the anus.”
9. Add The G-Spot To Oral Sex:
Once you feel comfortable with where your G-spot is located and how to get yourself going, ask your girlfriend to get in on the dirty work. One powerful way to ignite your passion and to have an explosive finish is to do double duty: a blow job and touching your G-spot will send you over the moon. Basically, it’s the same idea of you going down on her and fingering her at the same time, except this time, she’s doing it to you.
“For even better access to the male G-spot, she can insert a finger into your anus. This is a bit more of an advanced technique than pressing on your taint, so it’s important to take precautions to ensure she doesn’t hurt you. These include trimming and filing her nails to avoid scratching you, and making sure your anus is clean (an enema is best) to avoid getting anything ‘unintended’ under her fingernails, which could later spread bacteria,” Singer notes. “And another thing? Be sure to use lots of lube!”