It's no secret that our hands play an important role during nookie—but sometimes figuring out what to do with them can be tricky, especially when you're on the bottom. While scratching his back is nice for him, a better option is giving yourself some love, says Carol Queen, Ph.D., staff sexologist for Good Vibrations.
"Many women don't consider touching themselves during sex," says Queen. "But using your hands during intercourse is an easy and extremely effective way to add more pleasure to your experience," says Queen. Sign us up!
Here, easy-yet-effective ways to bring all hands on deck:
1. Guide Your Partner:
During foreplay, put your hands over your partner's to guide him when he's touching one of your hotspots, such as your clitoris or nipples, says Queen. You can also grab his wrist to get him to slide his fingers into you, she says. Taking charge is an uber-sexy way to show him what you like, while getting yourself off in the process.(sex advice)
2. Feel Yourself Up:
"Whether you lightly squeeze your nipples, graze your breasts with your fingertips, or squeeze them together, you can augment the genital sensations below during sex with some above-the-waist stimulation," says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First. In fact, a study from Rutgers University found a neurological link between nipple and clitoral stimulation, so tag-teaming both areas during nookie could increase your odds of experiencing an orgasm.
3. Take a Masturbation Break:
Take an intermission from thrusting to masturbate in front of your partner so he can see how fast you like to be stimulated and exactly where you want to be touched, says Queen. Since dudes are visual creatures, sex will be that much hotter once you give him the go-ahead to pounce—and you'll be primed and ready to get it on again.
4. Use a Vibrator:
Gently run a sex toy over your erogenous zones while getting down, says sexual health consultant Celeste Holbrook, Ph.D. "A small bullet stimulator can be used on your clitoris, nipples, around the vulva, or any other area that's particularly sensitive for you during sex," she says. Translation: Sensation overload.
5. Adjust Your Butt:
If being on the bottom just doesn't cut it for you, try placing your hands under your butt to change the alignment of your pelvis so that you get more sensation in your clitoris, vagina, and G-spot, says Kerner. This also keeps your body stable, allowing him to go deeper, he says.
6. Stimulate Your Clitoris:
"Probably the best thing a woman can do with her hands is provide direct clitoral stimulation," says Kerner. "The clitoris is the powerhouse of the female orgasm, and most intercourse positions only provide intermittent clitoral stimulation." Fortunately, moves like missionary, girl on top, and doggy style, provide you with enough space to let your fingers do the walking.
7. Take Control of the Missionary Position:
If your guy isn't quite doing it for you when he's on top, wrap your hands around his booty to adjust his speed and depth of thrusting to your liking, says Kerner. This works especially well if you want deeper thrusting to maximize clitoral stimulation. The same goes if you're on top and want more control: Use your hands to pin him down while you grind on him, says Queen. (He won't mind, trust.)