Attraction and seduction are an important part of arousal. If we want to take our evening to the next level, the mood has to be there. And sometimes, that involves working a bit harder to light that fire.
The first step in being someone she’s going to want to get naked with is to take care of yourself. Put some good healthy creative thought into determining your style and what brings out the best you. “Groom and dress yourself like you care. Obviously the healthier you eat and the more you workout plays directly into this as well. You really are what you eat,” says Nick Hawk, star of Showtime’s reality show Gigolos.
Taking care of yourself from the inside-out reaps levels of rewards, it will impact how you smell and taste too.(sex advice)
Remember, some things have not changed in the sex double standard. “With men the more women you sleep with the higher you're placed in society and with women the more men they sleep with the lower they are placed. My point is women are going to be a hell of a lot pickier. You need to be doing everything possible with your life to step your game up and beyond the average Joe. Average Joe isn't getting any action. Especially in our world that is becoming more women-dominated,” says Hawk. Women do not settle for mediocre.
1. Tap Into The “F” Word:
One of the top ways to rile a partner up is to tap into the feeling they most strongly associate with arousal. “Some people need to feel safe in order to be turned on. Others want to feel challenged. Some need to feel sexy or desire. Others want to feel a little frightened. Find out how she likes to feel and intensify those feelings,” says Dr. Jess, Astroglide’s resident sexologist.
For example, many women associate arousal with feelings of being desired. If this is the case, you’ll want to ply her with compliments. “Let her know just how badly you crave her. Tell her that you’ve been thinking of her all day and nothing else will do. Look at her like a ravenous beast…,” says Dr. Jess. If on the other hand, her “F” word is love (she is most turned on when she feels cared for), adjust your words, body language and gestures to show her just how much you care.
2. Tease Her:
Blindfold her and tease around her entire body while avoiding her hot spots. “Use the backs of your hands to very SLOWLY caress her legs, back, hips, face and neck. When you pass over her breasts, let your fingertips linger an inch from the surface so that she can feel your warmth hovering above,” says Dr. Jess. Take your time. Get closer to her hot spots (you’ll have to communicate to identify these, as they’re different for every body) and then pull away to rile her into a fit of desire. “Holding out for longer can create a more intense reaction once you finally touch the spots that are craving your hands, lips and tongue,” says Dr. Jess.
3. Stimulate Her Mind:
Men highly underestimate the power of a woman's mind over her body. “If her mind isn't present within the sexual experience then her ability to become aroused will be difficult,” says Tyomi Morgan, sex educator/sexuality coach. The brain is the largest sex organ there is so stimulate her mind first before moving to the erogenous zones of her body. Making her feel safe and comfortable is the first step to arousing the mind and then securing her trust. “Once safety and trust are established it's a matter of helping her unwind from the stresses of the day and drawing into her emotionally. Allow her to vent her frustrations, be empathetic and then move into giving her a back rub. Show her you are interested in more than just getting into her vagina before you move into intercourse,” says Morgan. When her mind is relaxed and free of stress her body will follow.
4. Ask Her What She Likes (And Act On It):
Let her be your teacher and the tour guide of her body. “Many men assume they know exactly how a woman likes it based on past experiences or what he has seen performed in films, but every woman is different and is aroused by various sets of sexual triggers,” says Morgan. Have a conversation with her before entering into any sexual activity to give her the opportunity to tell you what does it for her. Not only does this place her pleasure first, but it also makes her feel comfortable in knowing that you care about her satisfaction as much as you care about yours. And that is the ultimate turn on.
5. Caress Her Other Erogenous Zones:
The sexual parts of a woman's body are obvious (breasts, butt, vulva, lips) but there are other erogenous zones that are non-assuming yet effective in stimulating arousal when they are stimulated. “The backs of the thighs, the palms of the hands, behind the knee, the abdomen and the bottoms of the feet are pleasure zones that can be rubbed, caressed, lightly brushed or even blown on to generate a sexual response,” says Morgan. Take the time to explore a woman's body before sex by offering a sensual rubdown beginning at the feet and then working your way up to the backs of the thighs and eventually the abdomen. Avoid the most obvious zones to create a level of anticipation for what is to come next. Create ambiance with candles and soft music and make sure the room is warm. You don't have to be a professional masseuse to do this. Use light strokes first and increase the pressure as you go along, but always check in with your partner to make sure she is comfortable.
6. Take Things Slow:
Don't force issues, feelings or sex ever. Roll with it. Read her energy. “Learn how to communicate with and read body language. Don't ever plan on having sex. If it happens on the first night, it's totally fine but it is usually better to wait until you're both sure about the situation. Your goals should be to earn her trust and respect instead of thinking what's the next move to get into her bed. It will be different with all women,” says Hawk. Desperation and neediness are major turn-offs.